Life has gone on. My kids and my husband probably don't think about it much but I am still going through treatment. It still sucks. Not as much as chemo but it is not fun. I wouldn't say that I am "forgotten" but it feels like on a daily basis when my husband and kids don't really stop and think about the fact that I am STILL going through this crap.
I am not sick anymore. And I'm not depressed or very angry on a daily basis. Thank the Good Lord. I am not bald. Really thankful. I am thankful for finding out who my true friends are....that was a hard lesson but I am thankful. Lost a lot of friends, who I thought were friends, in the process but a good sifting was in order, I guess. I don't feel like a train hit me...so that is good. But I lay on a table, half naked every day, and get residual cancer cells fried. EVERY FREAKING DAY! Yes, it gets weary.
I am tired of driving there, I am tired of stripping off my clothes in front of strangers, and I am tired of feeling like I fell asleep in a tanning bed on one side. Most of all I am TIRED of not looking like me. Chemo left me with silver hair, an odd complexion with a rash on my face, gray eyebrows, and about 15 lbs of weight. It pisses me off. I am 44, not 66. But I feel like I am 66 right now. I certainly look it.
I have had about 5 people come up to me at various times and tell me "I had cancer and it blessed me...." WHATEVER! Cancer is not a blessing. I am sick of people claiming that it blessed them somehow. You can sell that somewhere else.
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