Redeemed

It is almost midnight and this page must be written.  My husband and kids are sleeping but I can’t because I have a liar whispering in my head. He prowls around like a lion. 

There are some words (in my youth) that I should have never heard.

I don’t love you anymore.

I choose someone else.

Some conversations knock the wind and hope right out of you. 

Wait, I thought remission mean more time?  Reply: Not in your case. 

Should I keep taking Cholesterol medicine? Reply: No.

Mammograms?     Reply: Not anymore.

When do I get to stop taking chemo? Reply: Never.

There are some words that should never be spoken.

Cancer is a blessing. 

I know just how you feel.....(when you don’t)

But there are promises that the liar can’t take from me.

This is not my home.

              John 14:2-4

            In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place            for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going."

I belong to the King.

My children and husband will see me again. 

There is no pain or tears in Heaven. 

             Revelation 21:4-8

           He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the     old order of things has passed away."  He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" 

My salvation seals my eternity. 

He listens to my prayers.  Even the ones I shout, beg and cry out to Him. 

The prowling lion has left for now. Jesus is here with his hand on my shoulder. Telling me that I am many things but the most important is ...redeemed.

My husband and Brad Paisley Think a lot alike:)

If you are wondering if I have the best husband in the world-why, yes, I do.  On our 10th anniversary (we are going on 16 yrs now), he made me a sweet CD of songs that reminded him of me.  Some of them are funny, some of them are just downright sweet-like this one.  (One of them was a bit ironic-Craig Morgan's I thought I was Tough. ) This one is by Brad Paisley.  If you have known me for a long time, you will grin at some of these details.  I didn't write it.  I just found the CD the other day and it has replaced Luke Bryan.  I know…shocker!  But here's my favorite.  Or one of them!  

She's Everything to Me-Brad Paisley

She's a yellow pair of running shoes
A holey pair of jeans
She looks great in cheap sunglasses

She looks great in anything
She's I want a piece of chocolate
Take me to a movie
She's I can't find a thing to wear
Now and then she's moody

She's a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a-blowing
She's a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She's a warm conversation
That I wouldn't miss for nothing
She's a fighter when she's mad
And she's a lover when she's loving

[Chorus]
And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
'Cause she's everything to me

She's a Saturday out on the town
And a church girl on Sunday
She's a cross around her neck
And a cuss word 'cause its Monday
She's a bubble bath and candles
Baby come and kiss me
She's a one glass of wine
And she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be
And the stealer of the covers
She's a picture in my wallet
and my unborn children's mother
She's the hand that I'm holding
When I'm on my knees and praying
She's the answer to my prayer
And she's the song that I'm playing

[Repeat chorus]

She's the voice I love to hear
Someday when I'm ninety
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes
I only love her more
Yeah, she's the one
That I'd lay down my own life for



[Thanks to Tim Anderson for lyrics]

Sunny and 75

I had a great Christmas.  Kids were good.  Presents were wonderful.  Great church service.

Then I have to start the new year with an additional threat over my head.  Bilirubin levels are high, have gall stones, trying to determine where levels are off due to my chemo or maybe even something wrong with my liver.

I won't lie….I was thankful that there were no addition finds of cancer in other organs but I feel like I have been kicked in the gut.  Literally.  I am tired of doctors, medicine, side effect, changes and threats of health crisis.  It is ONLY Jan. 2.  Kind of ironic.  Anyway, I am just tired.  And a bit angry right now.

If I could drive my car to the Bahamas-I would.  I need a beach trip like yesterday.  The sand and wind always make me feel like cancer and all of its friends live somewhere else.

My youngest daughter told me today (when she saw me crying), "You won't always be sick. Don't worry."  She is so wise and I don't think she knew how correct her statement was.  I won't always be sick.  Thank you Jesus!