The new show Chasing Life has become a favorite in our family. There are some threads of story lines that I am not crazy about but I love the cancer story line. VERY real without being in your face. There is a scene that I love where the best friend of April (the cancer patient) asks her, "Doesn't it feel good for your news to be out there-now your whole family knows. No more secrets." April replies something like, "Yeah, now not only do I get to process my cancer but I get to process everyone else's feelings about it too." That made me laugh OUT LOUD.
Tonight the mother of April had a meltdown and screamed she was angry. (Angry at April. Angry at cancer. etc. ) My son asked me, "Mom do you ever get like that? Angry?"
I told him, "I have secret fantasies about using your bat to break mirrors, lights, and making things shatter." I think I shocked him.
After he recovered at the mental image of his mother going postal using his baseball bat, he quipped, "Well you wouldn't use my GOOD bat, right?"
No, never the good bat. We laughed. (Baseball players are pretty particular about their bats.)
I told him I actually get angry a lot. But I go behind that closed door (pointed to my room) and get mad. He said he never saw me angry or show emotion. I assured him that was my job. I must make it right for him and the kids. I try not to bring my emotions into their lives as much as I can avoid it.
Still...I dream of the bat and breaking things sometimes. Is that normal?
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