Trenches

My battle trenches are deep.  Cancer dug them for me.  I try to dig out.  I try to fight the good fight but sometimes it gets dark within the trench walls.  Jesus shines a light. I can choose joy or misery will choose me.  I have to remind myself of that about 100 times a day.  Inside these trenches is hopeless, despair and fear.  It is just where Satan wants me.  Afraid.  Scared to try to have a life. Afraid to plan.

But God wants me to look up, out of my trench into the sun, even into the stars.  He wants me to focus on the Light-always, not my circumstances. I say these words and I know I fall short of following them. He doesn't care-He still commands me to find joy.