Ever feel invisible in a room with a smart doctor? Sitting in the exam room with the neurologist, Ikester and Joe, I felt a bit like the invisible woman. I only suspected this the initial meeting but I am convinced on the second meeting that women are "beneath" our new doc. Even without the credentials and degrees, I am also convinced I might be his match.
Both sessions I was ignored even though I did all the paperwork, research and reading in Ikester’s case files and medical background. When bipolar was mentioned no less than 7 or 8 times about my 5 year old whom he had not seen yet, I was clearly questioning if we were in the right office. All assumptions based on things he had heard and birth family history. When I dared to ask questions, to ask about other options or other reasons why he could be the way he was….he barely looked at me and looked Joe. I posed the question what if there was no birth history of mental illness and it was just events that led to mental instability. What if it was not heredity playing a part but fetal alcohol syndrome/drug exposure? (Did I mention I am so thankful with my discussion with his birth brother on mental health history….if it was not for him…I don’t know where this would have gone! Thank you C.R!)
He was not happy that I questioned him. I, of course, was playing the bad cop role…whatever! When he mentioned anti-psychotic drugs for my 5 year old, I almost came unhinged. I have done enough research to know the effects of those drugs. I knew the names and the side effects. Mind you, he had not met my child yet.
So today when Ikester got there, the doctor is 40 minutes late (we are the only people there) and we start the long 2 hour exam with my un-medicated child….I am not really “feeling” this doctor. Even though my husband is playing good cop…I can tell he is siding with me. After the physical exam, doc asks about 2 particular choices of anti-psychotic drugs….as an option to start with, one of which being Abilify. WHY? We haven’t even heard a diagnosis yet. I asked what does that drug treat? Bipolar disorder, depression and Schizophrenia….among others. But he hasn’t been diagnosed with any of these…so why would we use this drug to treat MY KINDERGARTENER????
He asked, “Why exactly did you drive an
hour to come see me?”
I returned, “I didn’t drive an hour for you to prescribe a medley of drugs for him. I came to get answers. If you want to know the truth I don’t want him on ANYTHING. “ This seemed to surprise him.
My husband, in his quiet way, reiterated our concerns and why we were there. We walked away with very little answers. Some holes were filled in. Ikester does have some autism spectrum attributes but not enough to scare us. He is clumsy in some of his left handed motor skills with feet and hands. Still, not anything that is going to stop him from playing sports or playing, period. Is he bipolar? No, and I didn’t think so last week either. Is he a little OCD? Yes but so are a lot of people and they function fine. He will do more testing at school. We have a better class of ADHD meds to go toward and we know NEVER to mess with strep infections. (Look up P.A.N.D.A.S….yowsers! For Ike-PANDAS/Strep is very serious!)
The point is I love my kid. He is a quirky fireball. I will be danged if someone is going to drug him to acting perfect…..no such thing anyway.
Having talked with doctors about Mason, and he is just 5 weeks old, I was reminded how much of treatment is a calcaulated guess. Multiply that by 5 years plus complications with Ikestar and it is off the chart.
ReplyDeleteThe doctor has a problem. He sounds like WebMD in person. Any doctor worth his pills knows that the mother plays a big role. It doesn't matter if you're the birth mother or not. You're with the child day and night.
At Texas Children they rotate the doctors which helps. Amanda, and this is her first child was thrilled when they asked her imput. The Little Doctor went out of her way to make Amanda feel included after he had suffered a slight setback. Now he's back on track, becuase she learned how the baby reacts with the mother.
To ignore the mother is stupid. If possible I would go to another doctor. Tell him becasue he is not listening and WebMd is cheaper.
Danny