I don't know if it was Tanner leaving or if it was cleaning his room and not being able to physically do it.....but I just had one of those hysterical meltdowns that I am sure made my husband go, "What the heck???" After Tanner left (he literally left nothing in his room) Sherry cleaned the bathroom for me and I swept and mopped his bedroom and bathroom. I was exhausted to the point of tears. I don't know if it was the anemia, cancer, the breathing issues I am having due to the reaction to the Taxol but it wiped me out! And it is a small bedroom/bathroom. (Thank the Lord Sherry did the bathroom!)
I came downstairs and lost it. My house has not been clean since graduation, which I did not do that either. Since I was diagnosed, I have either had surgery, been recovering or had chemo and my house is a 3200 square foot house with 5 kids. I delegate and they clean (I have a chore chart and everything) but everyone woman reading this knows why I am frustrated. I like to clean my house. With my supplies, my hands, my hard work....it is my nest. Brother Chris (my pastor from home) used to say "You don't mess with the nest". The smallest thing wipes me out. My sister came in June and cleaned my downstairs floors......that is the last time they have been done besides what sweeping and stuff I can do or the kids do.
So after I cried so hard I almost threw up, I called my friend and she is enlisting a maid. Not a regular hire...but I figure with Joe traveling now and chemo still raging on....it is time. I can't handle looking at anymore dust, dirt and un-mopped floors. Joe can't do it all. The kids are doing enough. Treatment will go until January and I am NOT waiting until then for a clean house. I know woman out there are nodding their heads....they hear me!
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