I didn't cry at my son's graduation. Didn't even get teary-eyed. Guess it was because I was so overjoyed that I was well enough to attend it. It was also not lost on me that this was my last weekend before chemo. My last weekend of hair for a while, last weekend of normalcy, and last weekend of laughter of fatigue-free-chemo-driven life....and to top it off Tanner walked across the stage. So I didn't cry.
Tomorrow I start chemo. I have to admit I am scared to death-more of the procedure itself. Ethan has been quiet all weekend. He is kind of my inner mirror, I think. Whatever I am trying to hide, he openly reflects and I hate that he is looking so scared. I can't get him to shake it. The rest of the family is kind of humming along, which I prefer. But my heart gets locked on my middle child. I hate to see him suffer.
I have a wig, I have two scarves and two hats and lots of anti nausea stuff the doctor gave me (my triple chemo lends itself to nausea...great!) ....I guess I am ready for the chemo. Are you really EVER ready for this though? Just wake me up in October when its over. Lol
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