What is thankful??? Do you know?

Six weeks ago I had NO understanding of the word “thankful”.  Oh sure, we like every other Christian and non-Christian family, threw the word around a lot, especially at the dinner table or when something went our way, but really I had no concept of what I really had until now. 

Six weeks ago, I was not thankful that I was in stellar health or that my kids were pretty healthy.  There is a broken arm here, trip to neurologist about migraines there but for the most part, my kids were healthy and so was I. 

Six weeks ago I would stare into the mirror and lament that my hair was not straight enough, dark enough, long enough, etc.  I didn’t not appreciate the fact that I had hair to begin with.

Six weeks ago, I was not particularly aware that I had the best husband I could have.  I knew he was wonderful, don’t get me wrong.  But we had never been truly tested (except for our adoption of Isaiah…that was a baby one though) and therefore I didn’t know how the man would stand up under pressure. 

Six weeks ago, I looked at our finances and grumbled.  Saw one credit card (under $500) and some minor bills and thought “Oh, we are in debt!”  I pretty much spent what we got and then felt bad afterwards.  We had enough to get by and I barely saw that as a blessing.

Six weeks ago, I never even thought about medical insurance.  We have pretty good insurance.  I never thought I would see one surgical bill (before insurance) hit $14,000 and that was without any other services or meds.  Staggering……insurance is like gold!

Six weeks ago I would not have believed you if you would have told me my teenage son would drop his summer to take care of my youngest and become an adult rather quickly.  I was clearly not thankful for the man he was about to become. 

But here we are six weeks later.  I have cancer.  It is treatable.  But it is still cancer.  My hair is gone.  The tumor is shrinking.  We keep getting these long, lengthy, itemized insurance pages, which are not bills but they warn you, “Hey we covered all of this….are you aware there are bills that will follow?”  My hair is gone.  My husband is rock steady. My five healthy kids are rallying around me like the Indians are running full speed at the wagon.  My oldest son has matured into a man of God right before my eyes.  My hair is still gone.  Did I mention this?  Still having a problem with this partJ  But I am thankful.  Thankful that God allows me to live when I don’t deserve it.  Thankful that I have all these things when I clearly don’t deserve them either.  Six weeks ago I was oblivious but not now. 

And by the way, I am in kick ass mode now……