Singing

I have always sang my kids to sleep.  I don't really read to them at bedtime.  I know-an English teacher and an author and I don't read at night-go figure but I hate it.  I would rather read to them during the day.  But I sing when they are little.  We have a "set".  I love you (Barney song), Mommy song (my song to Ikester), All the Pretty Horses (Cassadoodle's favorite), Take Me Out to the Ballgame (Hey, we have athletes in the house), Jesus Loves Me, Deep and Wide, I have Decided, and a few more.  When they are little or sick, I sing. Ikester wanted me to sing last night.  I guess he sensed something was going on. 

I started singing.  It was dark.  My middle kid was pretending to text his best friend on the couch across from the bed.  I saw him duck his head and sniff a few times. I kept singing.  Middle kiddo left the room. Ikester fell asleep smiling. (This is a rarity...bedtime is usually a long process with this kid!)  When I went downstairs Middle kiddo was crying. He said, "Will you still be able to do that when you are sick?"  I assured him but my heart was ripped out at that point.  These are the questions I hate.  I can deal with ME being sick.  I hate what this is starting to do to THEM.  Makes me want to hit something!