Sunday, May 20, 2012
Waking
Every morning since I have been diagnosed, there is a few seconds after a wake up where I am stretching and yawning and don't think about the big C. About 2 actually before I realize, "Yep...still have cancer." I told my sister last night it has kind of been my joke to myself each morning. "Still there" or "Yeah....still got it." Although I know it is not funny. It stinks that has become my first thoughts of the morning.
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CeCe, I had no idea.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shock, and having to live with this inside you - rather than simply being able to cut it out right this minute - is no doubt driving you a little nuts.
http://jahangiri.us/new/health-fitness/perky-pincushions/
I had to wait a month on surgery, and I didn't even have to do the chemo (they found mine when it was still Stage 0, fortunately). 'bout drove me bonkers - then right at the end, we were worried my surgeon, who had already deferred the maximum number of times, would have to do JURY DUTY the day I was scheduled for surgery and we'd have to schedule it again!!
Blogging helped. Having a sense of humor helped. You will get through this. Talk to your loved ones. Blog. Get it out. They pick up on worry; honesty is always best. I told my coworkers - after all, I'd have to take 5+ weeks of medical leave and didn't want them thinking they'd driven me to the funny farm!